Hopless_Trust

naive

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:16:29 GMT

I don't really know whats going on in my life right now, but I've made some mistakes... mistakes that I can't take back. ..... I don't even know if 'mistakes' is the right word for it... Its more like 'choices'. Ya, I've made some choices that I can't take back. Its not even that I regret these choices-- seeing as how they have made me alittle less niave-- its that I wish the outcome would've been different. Actually, scratch that, I don't wish the outcome would've been different. Infact, I am perfectly content with the choices I have made.

His name is Josh, and I thought he was something greater than what he was. Needless to say -- unless you havent figured it out yet-- I slept with him... He was my first. Was it worth it? I'm not really sure. Do I regret it? Nope.

The sad thing is that I told myself I would never be that girl that wastes her first time on some loser that made a bunch of empty promises.... haha. wow.

Now its time to move on. He's not that great. I can do better.

new year resolution

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:28:12 GMT

Dear self,
2008 will be rolling around pretty soon, and I feel it is time that a new years resolution be made. Over the past years, all of our resolutions have not been as strongly persued as they should have been, so this year, lets try something a little bit easier. Actually, this resolution will not be all that easy, because there will probably be times that we feel angst ridden and stressed to no limit, but i feel that we can do it. Here it is: this year i promise to stay true to myself at all costs, and live life in a way that will not only prove to be a good example for the people around me, but also a life that proves to benefit me, and my well being. I made it a point not to make a resolution like i promise to lose 20 lbs, because i should strive for that on a daily basis. This new year is all about making good choices, and carpe diem!

wish me luck guys, I hope i can pull it off.

and to everyone else, I hope you have a year filled with good times, and great memories!

i made it!

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 02:25:42 GMT

I made it through finals, i passed all of my classes! I am so proud of myself considering that I haven't been at the school for half the semester!

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 03:43:11 GMT

finals,

school,

step,

potential boyfriend !!!

my life is on over load!!!! help!!!

i think there is something wrong with me...

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:41:12 GMT

actually, I know there is something wrong with me, a few things actually...

1) I have an attention problem... I dont think its some form of a.d.d. but I do think that I have a slight problem paying attention, which makes it hard to study and such.

2) I am not as motivated anymore. Its been such a long time since I last updated, I remember when I used to post everyday, when I was actually attempting to write my clois fanfiction, when I actually cared.

I really don't know what to do. Maybe its a form of senioritis... have you heard of it... I'm not even a senior yet. I still have a year to go :(

vanity

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 04:15:09 GMT

i have been crying for the past 30 minutes, because i just had this amazingly shocking, horrifing, and depressing revalation that I am FAT!!!! I don't even know what to do. I know i have put on some weight, but i didnt realize how much until i was trying on shirts at Burlington Coat Factory.

I know that this seems like a vain post, but i really needed to get it out. I cant tell my mom, because there is nothing that she can do. Its not like she can get me a gym memborship, because she is having a hard time buying groceries... and the only person i can blame for the pounds that i have put on is myself, because i let my self eat a whole bunch of food in virginia...

I guess it never bothered me until now because my hight has always hid it pretty well, but now i am noticing rolls in my shirt where my bra is too tight, and that my belly is showing through my tops, and it really hurts that i could do this to myself...

now the only thing i can do is change that. and i plan on it, this isnt gonna be like all of the other times i promised myself that i would lose weight. this time i am really determined to eat healthier and find some way to work out.

wish me luck.

i'm back!!!

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:19:48 GMT

hey guys i'm back! i finally have internet again.

nothing new has been going on though, it's just good to be back

i'm not dead

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 03:09:34 GMT

u guys are probably wondering where i hav been... well i'm in colorado, have been for the past 2 weeks, but the place i'm staying doesnt hav internet, so i'm using my friends comp.

so, see ya next time.

see ya later virginia...

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 13:55:25 GMT

my mom is back in the states, and i dont think she is planning on returning to ghana any time soon, so i'm going back home to colorado on thursday.

staying in virginia was a bad idea, everything that can possibly go wrong has gone wrong, and now i'm getting f's in school, which has never happened to me.

i think that returning to colorado is a good idea, i just dont feel as comfortable in virginia as i used to. i thought that this move would be a good idea, but it wasnt. i've never been so stressed in my life - my eye was twitching all last week.

i don't wanna seem like a little girl, who is homesick, but maybe i am.... no thats not it, i'm just tired of living in virginia, and deteriorating. all of these musquito bites, and the other bumps that are due to some kind of allergic reaction to the cockroaches and bugs that rule this house hold, aren't good. i really hope that my aunt and uncle will seriously consider moving from this place. its infested, and they are probably used to, but their home isn't healthy. especally for their chidren.

two weeks

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:51:31 GMT

in less than 2 weeks, i hav had up to 30 musquito bites.
how freaken crazy is that. i have never had this many at a time in my life,

can you imagine what it feels like to be itchy constantly, and know that you can stop, but you dont?
i'm going crazy!!!!

i absolutely hate musquito's!!!!

smallville

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 01:08:05 GMT

i just saw the Smallville season premiere, and all of my predictions came true!
i knew chloe wasnt dead,
and i knew lana wasnt dead!

and i knew bizarro wouldnt be that big of a problem once clark figured it all out!
i'm so excited about the new season

full moon

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 22:19:55 GMT

this morning around 6:30, i stepped outside to go to the bus stop, and i looked up...
i have never seen the moon like that in my life. in colorado, a full moon is a full moon ya know, plus it is seems really small. but today in virginia, it was just HUGE and right there, and the sky was just so clear!

i'm pretty sure i've fallen in love with the moon.

gossip girl

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:54:03 GMT

hey,
did anyone catch the premier of gossip girl last night?
was it good, i missed it!

but what i didnt miss was the season premier of america's next top model,
i'm really excited about this new season,
cant wait to see the drama unfold!

lint

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 20:56:09 GMT

this is a really pointless post, but...

i finally got a lint roller,
you have no idea how long i have been saying 'i'm gonna buy one',
but i finally did.

thank god for walmart!

so sue me

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 04:43:58 GMT

... i did it again,
i went on an icon hunt,
and found some dean and jo's.
thanks to everyone that makes them!!!

i couldnt help myself

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:53:43 GMT

... really, i couldnt,
i had to get a new one...
i went around lookin for layouts, and found a bunch of amazing communities,
and people, so i friended a few of them.

eureka!

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:53:54 GMT

i just realized that...

I AM IN LOVE W/ DANNY FROM SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!

i mean... damn! that boy is fine!!!

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2007/09/12/danny-tidwell-shirtless/

yay

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 18:51:10 GMT

so this is my kind of new layout, which i'm pretty pleased with. it's not that different from my last one, but i guess i just needed a change.

i'm pretty upset with myself right now, because i have been slacking when it comes to homework over the past week. you see, i havent been going to school for about a week now because of some complication with the central registration place - they withdrew me for reasons that arent even important - but anyways, even though i'm not going to school for the time being, i will be returning next week - if you arent understanding this, dont worry, its pretty complicated- and since i am returning, i should have my homework done right... wrong.

being the procrastinator that i am, i have put off doing all of my homework until today, and when i was attempting to begin my algebra 2 homework, i became frustrated with myself because i couldn't figure out how to begin it. i don't even know why, but this just stressed me out to no end, because it got me thinking about all the things i wouldn't be able to do, or get, when it comes to school.

i probably wont get to go to homecoming this year because my uncle and aunt dont have money to spare like my parents did, and i probably wont be able to join the step team this year, because i have to babysit my cousins after school, and i won't have any free time when school starts to pick up, because i will be doing all of the things i did back home except step, but now i have to add on takin care of 3 kids, and well... i am just not prepared for it. i thought i was, i really did, but now that i actually have to do it, i'm getting overwhelmed. i forgot how stressful it is to help raise kids, i mean my lil bro is 11 years old now, but my cousins arent even older that 5 yet.

maybe i'm being selfish, or maybe i'm just way to used to my old life, but i either way, i dont' know how i'm gonna do this.

... i just completely strayed from the poing of this post. i was supposed to be scowleding my self for slacking off, but i just ended up pitying my self. i really have to work on staying on topic more!

naked

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 12:57:31 GMT

In light of everything that has been happening with vanessa hudgens, i just thought I'd say this:

she has appologized, and disney has even said that she isn't being replace. I still support her to no end, these pictures were supposed to be private, but some idiot decided to expose her all over the internet and I hope that fans of hers still support her no matter what too. cause i still do. she's young, and young people do stuff like that!

go vanessa!!!

: (

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 04:13:37 GMT

all i have to say is this: I MISS COLORADO!

virginia is soo different.

i want my family back... kinda.

... ok, not really...

but maybe i do.

1st day

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:58:22 GMT

So today was my first day at my new school, and all i have to say is... wow! This school is completely different than my last one, and right now, I'm missing SLHS. I haven't really met anyone worth mentioning yet, but the people that I have become aquaintenses with seem fairly nice, although there are some girls I'm not so sure about.

My least favorite thing so far is the fact that I am in two freshmen classes, the reason being because in my old school, we had different credit requirements, so here I have to make those up.
For example: i am in freshmen p.e./ health now since my dance class back in colo. only counted as half a credit, and here they don't do that; but the upside is that my gym teacher says that after this year we will be in the best shape of our lives... maybe that isn't such a good thing.

been a while

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 21:44:57 GMT

Ok, so everything with the cousin has definetely been resolved. Turns out that his mom has been noticing his erratic behavior just as much as i have, so shej told my uncle, and they sat him down and talked to him.

Peer pressure is a b****!!!

Holy Crap Update...

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 04:18:29 GMT

Ok, so I just told my cousin that he shouldn't do the things "His friends do" because it's not good, and if i see him doing it again, I'm gonna tell his dad. But seeing as how he is extremely stubborn, I'm gonna keep an eye on him when he goes to the play ground, and watch the things that he does. I told him that if he ever sees his so called "friends" doing that again, then he should tell them not to because it is not good. And he said "Okay".

Gosh i really hope that he won't do that again, because I really don't wanna see where this is gonna lead. I always knew that my relatives weren't the best with their kids, but I didn't know that it was this bad. I mean seriously, my uncle just let my little cousin drink about half a cup of wine. That isn't right. And when i said what are you doing, he said "he's gonna get dazed, but I don't care". WTF!!! Does he realize how impressionable 4 year olds are? No, because this is his first 4 year old.

Please tell me if you guys think I'm doing the right thing.

HOLY CRAP! My cousin has been corrupted!

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 04:04:48 GMT

Holy Crap, Holy Crap, Holy Crap! My little cousin has been corrupted!!!!! And it's not just like a little bit, oh no, he is watching "Family Guy" and "Futurama" and my aunt and uncle didn't even know about it. But wait, it gets worse.. God, I can't believe i'm about to say this, he was sitting here humping the couch, and making humping motions in the air while he's standing up; and when i ask him what he's doing, to make sure i'm seeing things right, he says "I'm doing like my friends". So then i threaten to tell his dad knowing that I should anyways, and he says "no dont, I'll stop"!

Holy Crap. What the hell am I supposed to do. He has been corrupted by the little kids at the playground, but I don't even know the extent of it. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do. The kid is 4 freakin years old, his parents give him way to much freedom, he has control over the house, he is watching t.v. right now, and it's 12 am. I just really hope that he doesn't pass all of this on to his sister... but I think he is starting to. She is always yelling "No" and she has adopted his eating habits - which are pretty much non existant - and she is always yelling.

I mean, Holy Crap. He isn't even a little kid yet, and he is acting this way. It's not even like we can lock him in the house, because he'll just climb up somewhere and unlock the doors. What's gonna happen when he starts school?

What the hell am I supposed to do??

bummer

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:49:27 GMT

So, it turns out we're not gonna be going to New York this week, cause my aunt has a lot of work to do, but instead ew're gonna be going during Thanksgiving. I guess that's cool because it gives us more time in the big apple, but either way, I was really excited to go.

Oh well.