i have been crying for the past 30 minutes, because i just had this amazingly shocking, horrifing, and depressing revalation that I am FAT!!!! I don't even know what to do. I know i have put on some weight, but i didnt realize how much until i was trying on shirts at Burlington Coat Factory. 

I know that this seems like a vain post, but i really needed to get it out. I cant tell my mom, because there is nothing that she can do. Its not like she can get me a gym memborship, because she is having a hard time buying groceries... and the only person i can blame for the pounds that i have put on is myself, because i let my self eat a whole bunch of food in virginia... 

I guess it never bothered me until now because my hight has always hid it pretty well, but now i am noticing rolls in my shirt where my bra is too tight, and that my belly is showing through my tops, and it really hurts that i could do this to myself...

now the only thing i can do is change that. and i plan on it, this isnt gonna be like all of the other times i promised myself that i would lose  weight. this time i am really determined to eat healthier and find some way to work out.

wish me luck.